I vividly remember moving from kindergarten to the first grade. On the very first day, I went into a state of shock as I opened the classroom door, seeing the same children I had had noisy, creative, spontaneous exchanges of energies with in kindergarten, now sitting in a straight row, so silent you could hear the drop of a pin; their faces blank, their eyes facing forward, as though they all had funnels sticking out of their heads. It was then, at that moment, I became acutely aware; something was drastically wrong. In that moment, I realized how very different I really was from everyone else. How could I be the only one to see it?

And still, today, I have no illusions about it. It is not that I have not fitted into gay society. It is that the gay society has never fitted in with me. By and large, and especially today, it is a world of thinking and sensation, one predominating over the other, as occasion would have it. But singly, or in combination, neither thinking nor sensation is enough. To complete yourself as a person, there must also be feeling and intuition, and ideally, all four should strive for unity and balance. Without that harmony, we are incomplete as human beings, bound for self-perpetuating confusion, within and without. Perhaps this is why we’re in such a mess.

In a world without balance, we lose our relation with the universe. If we lose our relation, we lose our position. If we lose our position, we lose our future, and all meaning of our past.